Male vs. Female

Cultivation vs. Sacrifice & the Root of the Real Distinction between the Genders

MALE VS. FEMALE: CULTIVATION VS. SACRIFICE & THE ROOT OF THE REAL DISTINCTION BETWEEN THE GENDERS

A parishioner at the Catholic School I am Principal of submitted a question asking why we have some classes separated by gender? The deeper question, and the one worth answering here, is more aptly, “what’s the difference between men and women?” And, “is the difference significant or insignificant?” Because…if there is a difference, and that difference is significant, then the separation of genders for some classes becomes a prudential and insightful conclusion. I will set out to prove that we can reasonably arrive at that conclusion!

Note: This is a question that most people have a visceral reaction to one way or another. “What are we, living in the stone age? The difference is totally insignificant!”, or, “Are you kidding? Of course there’s a significant difference!” No matter how you answer this question, you’re going to run afoul of one group or the other.

The further question then might be, “is this a question that is worthwhile to answer?”

The answer to that may well be a prudential, “no”, but since someone asked, and really wanted me to answer, I am happy to do so. Usually, the most loaded and difficult questions are the most fruitful ones to answer if you can answer them with courage and grace. I can’t decide whether I achieve that or not, but I will strive for that!

Gender Chaos

Let me start by saying that just last week a news story made the rounds about a school quizzing their kids on gender. On the quiz the students were asked the following questions: “what determines whether you’re a boy or a girl?” The possible answers were “your brain”, or “your private parts”? A student answered, “your private parts” and was told they got the answer wrong. Next it asked, “how many genders are there?”, with the possible answers “2”, or “more than 2”. Again, a student answered “2” and got the question wrong…

For many people, stories like this are a shocking example of where the state of culture and society are at. The distinctions between men and women are not simply under attack, they’re being annihilated—something more akin to “genocide” than “battle”.

While this example pertains to questions of transgenderism and gender ideology—make no mistake about it, the root of the transgender issue is grounded firmly in the notion that there are no differences between men and women. When there are no differences between men and women, then who’s to say there aren’t multiple genders? Or no genders? This doesn’t change the reality of the situation that men and women are different, but people militate against the order of creation in spite of its truth, and persevere in their convictions even as it fosters resentment and discontentment in their lives as a result of revolting against that same truth.

A Rational Defense of Men vs. Women

So in what way are men and women most different? That’s the ultimate question we want to try to answer. We don’t want to say, “they’re different because God, and our faith, says so.” While that is true, it is not a strong or convincing argument, and it betrays a cowardice. We can point to literal differences and make our case much stronger to the general public—many of whom are either not Christian, or reject the enduring and eternal validity of the authority of Scripture or the Church.

What is a man? What is a woman? Let’s start with a clear answer to these questions and build out from there.

A man is a person in potential to fatherhood.

A woman is a person in potential to motherhood.

We could say other things about a man or woman: we could refer to their chromosomes; we could try to articulate differences in interest—but all of this sidesteps a more fundamental reality: our gender is determined by our potential to reproduction.

The Significance of Reproduction

Why is reproduction so important? The answer to this is also very straightforward. Every biological creature is dependent on reproduction for their existence, and the continuation of its species is dependent on reproduction. For a physically bodied being—which we are—reproduction is the first condition of their actual existence.

Ok, so then what does this fact of reproduction tell us about the distinction between men and women? Who cares that one is in potential to motherhood and the other is in potential to fatherhood?

This is where the heart of the answer lies.

The distinction between motherhood and fatherhood is not an abstract or meaningless distinction. It affects differences of lived experience that diverge on a multi-year time scale. To carry a child and give birth is a biological reality that spans a year’s time. To nurse a child spans even more time. To do this multiple times can stretch the timeframe to multiple years, such that the window of adult life (from post-puberty to menopause) spans decades. On a physical and biological level, this is only possibly the case for people in potential to motherhood (i.e. women). This is not the case for men: There’s no growing or carrying a child in the womb; there’s no nursing; there’s no menopause. It’s not a coincidence that the efforts of those most in revolt against this reality also claim things like abortion to be “women’s” healthcare.

A woman is a person in potential to motherhood—to undermine motherhood is to undermine women…

Cultivation vs. Sacrifice

The more significant implication of this distinction, however, arises in the set of values the one situation incurs versus the other. Our values do not arise out of nowhere. They are not abstractly imposed on us. They spring up from our physical and natural realities. That is the basis of how we as humans can reliably discover how we should act and what we should do even if we were never exposed to the aides of divine revelation.

It’s been said that with 100 men and 1 woman, you can make a small number of children, but with 100 women and 1 man, a nation can arise on a short historical timeframe. This means that if you have a society with 100 men and 100 women and you lose 99 men, you still have a promising prospects as a people. If you lose 99 women, however, you’re in trouble. 99 men can be discarded without a problem, evolutionarily—but every woman is invaluable.

The translation of this reality into values is then the following: women are inclined toward a principal value of something like cultivation, or being cherished; men are inclined toward a principal value of something like sacrifice, or being discardable. It doesn’t mean men don’t have to cultivate things, or women don’t have to sacrifice, but they don’t as their principal values. This makes a huge difference.

All of this leads us to the place where we can begin to truly understand that there is a meaningful and significant difference between men and women. The challenges they face will be more acute in one way or another. The strengths they develop will be more acute in one way or another. While gender—the social experience of men and women—is distinct from sex—the chromosomal make up of a person determining their reproductive organs—it is not separable, precisely because the reproductive potential determines a contrary principal value in the individual.

Demonic Inversion

It's also worth noting that the answers our society provides to transgender individuals are to make them reproductively-sterile, and many who revolt against the distinction between men and women also often lose their drive to reproduce or embrace a childless lifestyle.

A childless lifestyle is not a valid proposition for any bodily being because it fundamentally contradicts bodily existence. If our whole society adopted such an attitude, our species would die out in one generation and would no longer exist. Our existence is tethered to our reproduction.

That is the way it is—no amount of revolt against that truth changes it; nor does such an attitude foster peace and acceptance of who and what we are.

As leader of this school, I see helping our children to accept and embrace who they truly are as one of the most important services we can provide to them. It’s the only route by which happiness is actually possible. +