MEMENTO MORI: Reflections on Death from the Christian Perspective
“…that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.” (1st Thess 4: 13)
“In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I go ahead to prepare a place for you? And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” (Jn 14: 2-3)
There has been tragic news about the passing of a recent graduate of the school I teach at. We do not know the cause of death, but foul play has been ruled out… I wouldn’t be able to say anything more about it at this point—and I wouldn’t, here… But I spent the day speaking to my students about the profundity of the Christian perspective on death and how radically different it is than the perspective of everyone else in our modern world. I want to share those same reflections here with you today.
The Christian understands suffering different. This different understanding is meant to frame a different psychological disposition in the Christian, accordingly. We are not called to faith by God so that we might experience the same chaos as those who are still in their sins and separated from God. We can look upon death more honestly, and more clearly. We can stare death in its eye. We can frame our whole life around the reality, and gravity, of death. The Atheist cannot… And it’s worth us understanding why and how that is so.
Suffering
We can’t talk about death if we don’t talk about suffering. Our society does not (and most Christians today, at that, do not) understand suffering. They don’t know what to do with it. Psychologists try to mitigate it; Buddhists claim it’s an intrinsic defect in existence; Atheists are jaded on account of it… They all try to avoid it in one way or another.
Not the Christian, though. As Saint Paul says in his letter to the Hebrews (Heb 2: 9-10), God became man instead of an angel because of suffering and death—it was more fitting for the fuller revelation of his nature that he become a man and not an angel. That is crazy to really think about… Angels are more perfect than us in their intellects and wills, but because they cannot suffer, and they do not die, they were unfit to receive the divine nature as man was. This is a profound insight that Saint Paul is sharing with us… Suffering is not accidental—it is not a defect in God’s creation. It is a divinely implemented aspect of this life that God wants to be there.
The calculus on this is actually rather straightforward: when we suffer, the relative value of this life decreases—with that decrease, we are more likely to turn our gaze toward Eternity. Ergo, the reason for suffering is that it decreases the value of this life and increases the value of eternal life. It draws us out of ourselves and toward God.
As we lose our health, we long for that condition where our health cannot fail. As we experience pain from loss, we long for that place where all things endure perfectly. Suffering is the greatest mechanism of God’s creation to turn creatures away from themselves, and that is its purpose, no matter what suffering we speak of.
Memento Mori, Part I
Every student in every one of my classes passed the following quiz presented to them perfectly… I laid a series of questions before them to test their understanding…
“In light of someone dying at age 18/19, does it matter how good they were at math?”… “Does it matter what their GPA was?”… “Does it matter how good they were at sports?”… “Does it matter how many friends they had?”… “Does it matter what career path they were on?”… “Does it matter what girls they hooked up with?”… “Does it matter how much pleasure they experienced?”… “Does it matter how many novel places they visited?”... “In light of someone dying at age 18/19, does it matter…”
Not a single student struggled to see that all of those external things are completely meaningless in light of the reality of an early and untimely death. At worst, they actually do matter!, but not in a good way—they may bear on your ultimate condemnation…
If, by a special divine revelation, you found out that you were going to die in three years, would you keep living your life the same way you are today? If you wouldn’t, you have major changes you must make to your life… This is the profundity of memento mori—an old latin phrase that meant “remember death”. Death is one of the greatest objects of meditation/reflection. It so effortlessly orders your priorities that you don’t even have to get good at it to make immediate use of it…
Reflect on the loss of your children; the loss of your spouse; the loss of your parents, and dearest friends; reflect regularly on these things. Welcome in the horrific and chaotic emotions they trigger in you. Aligning your life to the reality of those emotions, such that you are doing the things, and living the way, that you can feel a deep conviction of peace in light of those prospects, is the most important thing you can do in life. Align your whole life to the consideration of death and you will be much more likely to be ordered rightly toward all things.
Dissonance & Chaos
When we first hear news like this of someone close to us that has died unexpectedly and prematurely, one of two things is likely to happen: either we ignore the reality and emotions of the situation, or it triggers a chaos in us. The Christian, having been transformed by Christianity, is not to incline to such an event in either of these ways (though most Christians do, to their fault)… The chaos triggered is the result of a dissonance experienced by the psyche in light of such an event… For those that experience the chaos, the tragedy functions to highlight the fact that the priorities by which one is living with do not reconcile with the considered (and really possible) situation of an early death. The dissonance between how they are living their life, and how such a situation would suggest they should be living their life, creates a friction that is experienced internally as chaos and suffering. If there were no dissonance, there would be no chaos.
The Christian can look death in the eyes and adjust accordingly because Our Lord took on death, was resurrected, and transformed death for us. We no longer have to fear death, and so reflecting on it can become the great mechanism of ordering ourselves toward God.
The non-Christian simply cannot see it this way—they have no foundation for such a consideration to carry any weight in their mind & soul whatsoever.
Saints
I shared a story with my students that a nun I know told me a while back. This nun was a Vice-Principal in a school when a student of hers passed away. The student, a young girl, had been physically and mentally handicapped, but she was still expected to live well into their adult life, if not well into old age. The student died unexpectedly at the age of 17 in her sleep, and the entire school was distraught. She had been universally kind and good-willed toward everyone, no matter the circumstance, and everyone had nothing but good thoughts and feelings for her. When she died, however, what they found was far more amazing. They recovered the girl’s journals, and in them were nothing but prayers for the people in her life—for students in the school, for friends, for family. There were prayers for students that didn’t even know she knew them. She had never spoken to them, but she heard something related to them and wrote out prayers she prayed for them. There was nothing in these journals about herself. Nothing. Only a record of the love she had for all.
This young girl, I can confidently say, is a bona fide saint. I include her in my intercessory litany of saints’ prayers every day, and she’s the only one of which that has not been canonized. I’ve never heard a story of a person more robustly saintly, though.
I shared this story with my students and I share it here today with you all because an example like this lets us really intuit what it means that we, as Christians, do not have to grieve as those who have no hope do—as those of the rest of the world do… This little girl is undoubtedly high up in heaven, and her death is an emphatic cause for both rejoicing and inspiration. I’ve never met this girl and yet I pray to her every day—what a blessing that our Lord drew her to Himself that she might be able to intercede for all of us in her prayers from heaven! Every saint in heaven was blessed by their death. Every person here on earth receives an infinite gift when a saint is called back to our Lord.
When we live the life of faith, transformed by it to our core, we can rejoice in another’s death in a way that others can’t even begin to fathom. I hope that if I am fated to suffer an untimely death that my death might be a cause of joy for all of you!, and everyone close to me!, on account of a life lived amended to the Lord. I pray that the Lord strengthen and preserve me in my commitment to Him to the end, and my prayer is that all of you can have the same and be so too for those in your life.
The Reprobate Soul
All the above being laid out, we approach the remaining conundrum: what about a soul that we do not have that same confidence that they will be counted among the saints? What about those that seemingly lived a life devoid of faith?...
Here, of course, even the Christian grieves greatly. We grieve for their soul; we grieve for those around them. The soul that dies separated from a life of faith is a soul in grave peril. That is a horrifying thought for anyone we love. We must acknowledge that there is no readily consoling answer for that. There’s still an answer—but the answer is not readily consoling. It takes training in the faith to be able to stand up before it and look at it straight on… The answer amounts to the following: the Good of God surpasses the individual good of that person, such that His goodness will show through in the eternal result of all things—both for the saved and for the damned. But the best we can do is turn our gaze toward God. Our considerations for our fallen brother or sister outside of a life of faith are horrifying for them, specifically. It is with this in mind, considering how so many in our modern world around us reject God & faith, that we tremble at the thought of… It is this reality—that so many around us are outside of the life of faith—that makes their deaths difficult for us Christians too… We cannot so presumptuously assume that their eternal fate is joyous—it could very truly be worse for them on the other side.
What’s truly profound, still though, is that this may serve more than anything else as a motive to try and be right with God and try to do everything we can to help those around us get right with God, especially if they aren’t. The notion that our own, or another’s, death would reasonably lead to damnation, given no correction of our, or their, ways, can motivate us infinitely toward God—but only because it’s actually so horrifying that we, or they, could legitimately end up in eternal misery, separated from God for all eternity. If damnation weren’t literal, possible, and the default state for all of us without grace, then we wouldn’t have the motive or this sense of urgency to fight for the faith. But as it is, we do, and considering that rightly always spurs us on to persist in prayer for all those around us. We just have to consider it rightly…
Memento Mori, Part II
Remember death. Keep death always before your eyes. There is nothing greater at anchoring and establishing your priorities. If you were to die a premature death, what would matter most that you’ve done with your life? The answer is getting right with God. The answer is growing in the virtues—namely, those sublime Christian virtues that counter the spiritual Capital vices: Humility (contra Pride), Good-will (contra Envy), Patience/Forgiveness (contra Wrath), and Courage (contra Sloth). The answer is worshipping God… No second of worship of God will be pointless in the scope of eternity. No second you spent trying to learn the things of God will be pointless in the scope of eternity. No second testing yourself, turning to the Lord, sacrificing for the sake of becoming more selfless, will be pointless in the scope of eternity. No second devoted to growing in virtue will be pointless in the scope of eternity.
Remember death, and what will follow in its wake is the joy of the resurrection. +
Thank you AJ . I have the same feeling that you have about death. How interesting it is that the people that we love are not Christian or they are but they have their own type of Christianity, that God‘s mercy will be enough. Today’s world which is no different from the other worlds Times that we’ve been in human being really didn’t change too much. Everyone has a God people just come to the realization of who their worshiping devoting their time too. I really enjoyed the read. I find that remembering death in your nightly examination it’s where I would like to bring it into awareness. And on helping our friends and loved ones to remember death to know that it’s a new beginning we have a lot of work to do. Thank you and God bless you.